Friday, April 29, 2011

PM5; Goramas the Iron Baron

Name: Goramas, the Iron Baron
Race: Ogre Mage/Native Outsider
Classes: Giant 5, Fighter 4, Disciple of Dispater 10, Exotic Weapon Master 2
Alignment: LE
Sect: Dispater
Goramas stands 14 feet tall, and weighs roughly 1,400 lbs. Thick bands of muscle cling to his frame, and when he moves it is with a deceptively lazy grace. His massive wings are covered in black feathers, and his beard ends in a decidedly devilish point. His bearing is decidedly regal, and it is seldom indeed that he reveals any hint of emotion. Lesser devils who served him for a long time learned to make themselves scarce whenever there was a subtle thinning of his lips.

CR: 26

STR 34 [40] +15
DEX 20 +5
CON 22 [28] +9
INT 22 +6
WIS 16 +3
CHA 23 +6

Speed 70 ft/Fly 70 ft. (good)
Initiative 5
BAB 18 (-1 for size taken into effect)
Grapple 37 (+4 for size taken into effect)
Space/Reach 10 ft/10 ft

AC 41 (-1 size, +5 Dex, +7 natural, +10 magic chain shirt, +6 magic buckler, +4 ring of heavy fortification)
Touch 19, Flat Footed 36

SR 32

HP 337

Fort 20
Ref 14 [15]
Will 12

[-1 to hit due to buckler, +1 to attack due to haste]
Eisengorge [+5 Wounding/Marrowcrushing bastard sword]
41/41/36/31/26, 2d8+39 and 2 points of Constitution damage, 13-20x2 (Con damage is not multiplied on a crit)

Claw(x3) 1d6+15, Bite 1d8+7

Buckler of the Lost
As a swift action, the wearer of this buckler can turn it on a foe within melee range in a manner similar to a gaze attack. If the target sees and comprehends the intricate maze drawn within the central circle, they must make a DC 24 Will save or be banished to an extradimensional facsimile of Dis. The winding streets seem to turn back on themselves on and on, with no doors visible on any of the buildings. All the while, fiendish figures leer from the corner of the target's eye, but always vanish if faced directly. Each round on its turn, the target may attempt a DC 22 Intelligence check to escape the labyrinth as a full-round action. If the subject doesn't escape after 10 minutes, they appear where they had been when the Buckler of the Lost took effect. If that area is filled with a solid object, the subject appears in the nearest open space. Spells and Spells and abilities that move a creature within a plane, such as teleport and dimension door, do not help a creature escape the Buckler of the Lost, although a plane shift spell allows it to exit to whatever plane is designated in that spell. Minotaurs are not affected by this ability.

Ring of Epic Rulership -
The wearer can command the obedience and fealty of creatures within 360 feet when he or she activates the device (a standard action). Creatures totaling 900 Hit Dice can be ruled, but creatures with Intelligence scores of 17 or higher are entitled to a Will saving throw  (DC 29) to negate the effect. Ruled creatures obey the ring wearer as if he or she were their absolute sovereign. Still, if the ring wearer gives a command that is contrary to the nature of the creatures commanded, the magic is broken. The ring can be used for 1,500 total minutes (941 minutes left) before crumbling to dust. This duration need not be continuous.

Class/Racial/Extraordinary/Supernatural abilities

DR 10/Magic

Smite Good - Once per day, Goramas may make a normal melee attack to deal 21 extra points of damage to a good foe. If the attack misses, the smite attempt is wasted.

Bite 1d8 (Natural weapons treated as magic for overcoming DR)
Claw 1d6 (Natural weapons treated as magic for overcoming DR)

Regeneration 5 (fire and acid do normal damage)

Resistance 10 to acid, cold, electricity, and fire

SR = 10+level

Immunity to poison

Low-light vision,

Darkvision 90 feet

Change Shape (Su)
An ogre mage can assume the form of any Small, Medium, or Large humanoid or giant.

Device Lore (Ex)- A disciple of Dispater can find traps made mostly of metal just as a rogue can. Furthermore he gains a +2 competency bonus on Disable Device checks against devices made mostly of metal.

Iron Hews (Su) Once per day per point of Constitution bonus, a 2nd level disciple of Dispater may add a +3 divine bonus on attacks made that round.

Rusting Grasp (Sp) Once per day, a 3rd level disciple of Dispater can produce an effect identical to that of the Rusting Grasp spell cast by a 15th level caster.
Range: Touch
Target:     One nonmagical ferrous object (or the volume of the object within 3 ft. of the touched point) or one ferrous creature
Duration: See text
Saving Throw: None
Spell Resistance: No
Any iron or iron alloy item you touch becomes instantaneously rusted, pitted, and worthless, effectively destroyed. If the item is so large that it cannot fit within a 3-foot radius a 3-foot-radius volume of the metal is rusted and destroyed. Magic items made of metal are immune to this spell.
You may employ rusting grasp in combat with a successful melee touch attack. Rusting grasp used in this way instantaneously destroys 1d6 points of Armor Class gained from metal armor (to the maximum amount of protection the armor offered) through corrosion.
Weapons in use by an opponent targeted by the spell are more difficult to grasp. You must succeed on a melee touch attack against the weapon. A metal weapon that is hit is destroyed.
Note: Striking at an opponent’s weapon provokes an attack of opportunity. Also, you must touch the weapon and not the other way around.
Against a ferrous creature, rusting grasp instantaneously deals 3d6 points of damage +1 per caster level (maximum +15) per successful attack. The spell lasts for 1 round per level, and you can make one melee touch attack per round.

Iron Power (Ex) When using iron or steel weapons, add a +2 insight bonus to attack and damage rolls, as well as tripling the threat range of any iron or steel weapon. This stacks with the improved critical feat, but not the keen weapon ability.

Summon Erinyes (Sp) A  Disciple of Dispater can summon 1d4 erinyes once per day

Greater Iron Hews (Su) Once per day per point of Constitution bonus, Goramas may add a +6 divine bonus on damage from attacks made that round. While this bonus does not stack with the iron hews ability, the abilities are separate.

Ironskin (Sp) Once per day, Goramas can produce an effect identical to that of the stoneskin spell cast by a 15th level caster upon himself only.
Range:  Touch
Target:     Creature touched
Duration: 10 min./level or until discharged
Saving Throw:     Will negates (harmless)
Spell Resistance: Yes (harmless)
The warded creature gains resistance to blows, cuts, stabs, and slashes. The subject gains damage reduction 10/adamantine. (It ignores the first 10 points of damage each time it takes damage from a weapon, though an adamantine weapon bypasses the reduction.) Once the spell has prevented a total of 10 points of damage per caster level (maximum 150 points), it is discharged.

Iron Body (Sp) Once per day, Goramas can produce an effect identical to that of an iron body spell cast by an 18th level caster.
Range:  Personal
Target:     You
Duration: 1 min./level (D)
This spell transforms your body into living iron, which grants you several powerful resistances and abilities.
You gain damage reduction 15/adamantine. You are immune to blindness, critical hits, ability score damage, deafness, disease, drowning, electricity, poison, stunning, and all spells or attacks that affect your physiology or respiration, because you have no physiology or respiration while this spell is in effect. You take only half damage from acid and fire of all kinds. However, you also become vulnerable to all special attacks that affect iron golems.
You gain a +6 enhancement bonus to your Strength score, but you take a -6 penalty to Dexterity as well (to a minimum Dexterity score of 1), and your speed is reduced to half normal. You have an arcane spell failure chance of 50% and a -8 armor check penalty, just as if you were clad in full plate armor. You cannot drink (and thus can’t use potions) or play wind instruments.
Your unarmed attacks deal damage equal to a club sized for you (1d4 for Small characters or 1d6 for Medium characters. 1d8 for Large), and you are considered armed when making unarmed attacks.
Your weight increases by a factor of ten, causing you to sink in water like a stone. However, you could survive the crushing pressure and lack of air at the bottom of the ocean—at least until the spell duration expires.

Flight (Su): An ogre mage can cease or resume flight as a free action. While using gaseous form it can fly at its normal speed and has perfect maneuverability.

Regeneration (Ex): Fire and acid deal normal damage to an ogre mage.
An ogre mage that loses a limb or body part can reattach it by holding the severed member to the stump. Reattachment takes 1 minute. If the head or some other vital organ is severed, it must be reattached within 10 minutes or the creature dies. An ogre mage cannot regrow lost body parts.

Exotic Weapon Stunts
Uncanny Blow - When wielding a one-handed exotic weapon in both hands, add x2 your str modifier instead of x1.5
Exotic Sunder - When wielding a one-handed or two-handed exotic weapon, deal an extra 1d6 points of damage.

Power Attack
Combat Expertise
Exotic Weapon Proficiency: bastard sword
Weapon Focus: bastard sword
Weapon Specialization: bastard sword
Improved Sunder
Brand of the Nine Hells - Dispater (In keeping with your lord's paranoia, gain a pair of eyes in the back of your head. You cannot be flanked, nor can you be caught flat footed)
Mark of Dis (When you move [and only when you move], the square in which you start your movement is not considered threatened. In addition, once per round, as an immediate action, you can choose to gain a +4 bonus to AC or on a single save.)
Devil Touched Feats -2
Devil's Favor (+2 bonus on attack, save, or check 1/day per devil-touched feat you have)
Devil's Flesh (Gain bonus to natural armor/Intimidate equal to 1/2 the number of Devil Touched feats you have. Diplomacy with good creatures suffers by an amount equal to the amount of natural armor gained by this feat)


Bluff - Ranks (20) + (cha ) + misc ()= 26
Concentration - Ranks (10) + (con ) + misc ()= 16
Craft - Ranks (15) + (int) + misc ()= 21
Diplomacy - Ranks (10) + (cha) + misc ()= 16 (15 to good characters)
Disable Device - Ranks (14) + (int) + misc ()= 20
Hide - Ranks (20) + (dex) + misc (-6)= 19
Intimidate - Ranks (20) + (cha)+ misc (1)= 27
[religion] - Ranks (11) + (int) + misc ()= 17
Listen - Ranks (20) + (wis) + misc ()= 23
Search - Ranks (20) + (int) + misc ()= 18
Sense Motive - Ranks (11) + (wis) + misc ()= 14
Spellcraft - Ranks (11) + (int) + misc ()= 17
Spot - Ranks (20) + (wis) + misc ()= 23

Languages: Common, Giant, Dwarven, Goblin, Infernal, Orc.

Buckler of the Lost
+6 Chain Shirt
Girdle of Giant's Strength +6
Torq of Constitution +6
Bracers of Haste (Permanent Haste)
Cloak of Perfect Displacement (Permanent 50% miss chance)
Boots of Greater Teleportation (3/day, Greater Teleportation)
Monocle of True Sight (Permanent True Seeing)
+4 Ring of Greater Fortification (Immune to critical hits and sneak attacks)
Ring of Epic Rulership -
Gauntlets of Gate (Once a day, open a Gate as a full round action)
Farseer Orb - A magical crystal that allows the holder to scry on anyone they've ever heard the name of as though they had a lock of that person's hair. Activation is a full-round action with limitless duration, Will DC 28 negates scrying attempt. The holder of the Farseer Orb can freely communicate with the subject of the scrying via telepathy, as well being able to produce the effects of detect good/evil/law/chaos.

Spell-like abilities: Caster level 21. The save DCs are Charisma-based.

At will:-

Range: Touch
Target:     Object touched
Duration: 10 min./level (D)
Saving Throw: None
Spell Resistance: No
This spell causes an object to radiate shadowy illumination out to a 20-foot radius. All creatures in the area gain concealment (20% miss chance). Even creatures that can normally see in such conditions (such as with darkvision or low-light vision) have the miss chance in an area shrouded in magical darkness.
Normal lights (torches, candles, lanterns, and so forth) are incapable of brightening the area, as are light spells of lower level. Higher level light spells are not affected by darkness.
If darkness is cast on a small object that is then placed inside or under a lightproof covering, the spell’s effect is blocked until the covering is removed.
Darkness counters or dispels any light spell of equal or lower spell level.

Range:     Personal or touch
Target:     You or a creature or object weighing no more than 100 lb./level
Duration: 1 min./level (D)
Saving Throw: Will negates (harmless) or Will negates (harmless, object)
Spell Resistance: Yes (harmless) or Yes (harmless, object)
The creature or object touched becomes invisible, vanishing from sight, even from darkvision. If the recipient is a creature carrying gear, that vanishes, too. If you cast the spell on someone else, neither you nor your allies can see the subject, unless you can normally see invisible things or you employ magic to do so.
Items dropped or put down by an invisible creature become visible; items picked up disappear if tucked into the clothing or pouches worn by the creature. Light, however, never becomes invisible, although a source of light can become so (thus, the effect is that of a light with no visible source). Any part of an item that the subject carries but that extends more than 10 feet from it becomes visible.
Of course, the subject is not magically silenced, and certain other conditions can render the recipient detectable (such as stepping in a puddle). The spell ends if the subject attacks any creature. For purposes of this spell, an attack includes any spell targeting a foe or whose area or effect includes a foe. (Exactly who is a foe depends on the invisible character’s perceptions.) Actions directed at unattended objects do not break the spell. Causing harm indirectly is not an attack. Thus, an invisible being can open doors, talk, eat, climb stairs, summon monsters and have them attack, cut the ropes holding a rope bridge while enemies are on the bridge, remotely trigger traps, open a portcullis to release attack dogs, and so forth. If the subject attacks directly, however, it immediately becomes visible along with all its gear. Spells such as bless that specifically affect allies but not foes are not attacks for this purpose, even when they include foes in their area.

Darkness (redundant)

Poison (DC 20)
Range:     Touch
Target:     Living creature touched
Duration: Instantaneous; see text
Saving Throw: Fortitude negates; see text
Spell Resistance: Yes
Calling upon the venomous powers of natural predators, you infect the subject with a horrible poison by making a successful melee touch attack. The poison deals 1d10 points of temporary Constitution damage immediately and another 1d10 points of temporary Constitution damage 1 minute later. Each instance of damage can be negated by a Fortitude save (DC 10 + ½ your HD + your Wis modifier). [23]

Unholy Aura (DC 24)
Range:  20 ft.
Targets: One creature/level in a 20-ft.-radius burst centered on you
Duration: 1 round/level (D)
Saving Throw: See text
Spell Resistance: Yes (harmless)
A malevolent darkness surrounds the subjects, protecting them from attacks, granting them resistance to spells cast by good creatures, and weakening good creatures when they strike the subjects. This abjuration has four effects.
First, each warded creature gains a +4 deflection bonus to AC and a +4 resistance bonus on saves. Unlike the effect of protection from good, this benefit applies against all attacks, not just against attacks by good creatures.
Second, a warded creature gains spell resistance 25 against good spells and spells cast by good creatures.
Third, the abjuration blocks possession and mental influence, just as protection from good does.
Finally, if a good creature succeeds on a melee attack against a warded creature, the offending attacker takes 1d6 points of temporary Strength damage (Fortitude negates).


Charm Person (DC 17)
Range:     Close (25 ft. + 5 ft./2 levels)
Target:     One humanoid creature
Duration: 1 hour/level
Saving Throw:     Will negates
Spell Resistance: Yes
This charm makes a humanoid creature regard you as its trusted friend and ally (treat the target’s attitude as friendly). If the creature is currently being threatened or attacked by you or your allies, however, it receives a +5 bonus on its saving throw.
The spell does not enable you to control the charmed person as if it were an automaton, but it perceives your words and actions in the most favorable way. You can try to give the subject orders, but you must win an opposed Charisma check to convince it to do anything it wouldn’t ordinarily do. (Retries are not allowed.) An affected creature never obeys suicidal or obviously harmful orders, but it might be convinced that something very dangerous is worth doing. Any act by you or your apparent allies that threatens the charmed person breaks the spell. You must speak the person’s language to communicate your commands, or else be good at pantomiming.

Desecrate (DC 18)
Range:  Close (25 ft. + 5 ft./2 levels)
Area:     20-ft.-radius emanation
Duration: 2 hours/level
Saving Throw:     None
Spell Resistance: Yes
This spell imbues an area with negative energy. Each Charisma check made to turn undead within this area takes a -3 profane penalty, and every undead creature entering a desecrated area gains a +1 profane bonus on attack rolls, damage rolls, and saving throws. An undead creature created within or summoned into such an area gains +1 hit points per HD.
If the desecrated area contains an altar, shrine, or other permanent fixture dedicated to your deity or aligned higher power, the modifiers given above are doubled (-6 profane penalty on turning checks, +2 profane bonus and +2 hit points per HD for undead in the area).
Furthermore, anyone who casts animate dead within this area may create as many as double the normal amount of undead (that is, 4 HD per caster level rather than 2 HD per caster level).
If the area contains an altar, shrine, or other permanent fixture of a deity, pantheon, or higher power other than your patron, the desecrate spell instead curses the area, cutting off its connection with the associated deity or power. This secondary function, if used, does not also grant the bonuses and penalties relating to undead, as given above.
Desecrate counters and dispels consecrate.

Sleep (DC 18)
Range:     Medium (100 ft. + 10 ft./level)
Area: One or more living creatures within a 10-ft.-radius burst
Duration: 1 min./level
Saving Throw: Will negates
Spell Resistance: Yes
A sleep spell causes a magical slumber to come upon 4 Hit Dice of creatures. Creatures with the fewest HD are affected first.
Among creatures with equal HD, those who are closest to the spell’s point of origin are affected first. Hit Dice that are not sufficient to affect a creature are wasted.
Sleeping creatures are helpless. Slapping or wounding awakens an affected creature, but normal noise does not. Awakening a creature is a standard action (an application of the aid another action).
Sleep does not target unconscious creatures, constructs, or undead creatures.

Contagion (DC 19)
Range:      Touch
Target:     Living creature touched
Duration:     Instantaneous
Saving Throw:     Fortitude negates
Spell Resistance:     Yes
The subject contracts a disease (selected from the table below) which strikes immediately (no incubation period). The DC noted is for the subsequent saves (use contagion’s normal save DC for the initial saving throw).
Disease               DC    Damage
Blinding sickness  16     1d4 Str1
Cackle fever        16     1d6 Wis
Filth fever        12     1d3 Dex and 1d3 Con
Mindfire        12     1d4 Int
Red ache        15     1d6 Str
Shakes        13     1d8 Dex
Slimy doom        14     1d4 Con

Unholy Blight (DC 20)
Range:  Medium (100 ft. + 10 ft./level)
Area:     20-ft.-radius spread
Duration: Instantaneous (1d4 rounds); see text
Saving Throw:     Will partial
Spell Resistance: Yes
You call up unholy power to smite your enemies. The power takes the form of a cold, cloying miasma of greasy darkness.
Only good and neutral (not evil) creatures are harmed by the spell.
The spell deals 1d8 points of damage per two caster levels (maximum 5d8) to a good creature (or 1d6 per caster level, maximum 10d6, to a good outsider) and causes it to be sickened for 1d4 rounds. A successful Will save reduces damage to half and negates the sickened effect. The effects cannot be negated by remove disease or heal, but remove curse is effective.
The spell deals only half damage to creatures who are neither evil nor good, and they are not sickened. Such a creature can reduce the damage in half again (down to one-quarter) with a successful Will save.

Cone of Cold (DC 20), 15d6
Range:     60 ft.
Area: Cone-shaped burst
Duration: Instantaneous
Saving Throw: Reflex half
Spell Resistance: Yes
Cone of cold creates an area of extreme cold, originating at your hand and extending outward in a cone. It drains heat, dealing 1d6 points of cold damage per caster level.

Unhallow (DC 21)
Range: Touch
Area: 40-ft. radius emanating from the touched point
Duration: Instantaneous
Saving Throw:     See text
Spell Resistance: See text
Unhallow makes a particular site, building, or structure an unholy site. This has three major effects.
First, the site or structure is guarded by a magic circle against good effect.
Second, all turning checks made to turn undead take a -4 penalty, and turning checks to rebuke undead gain a +4 profane bonus. Spell resistance does not apply to this effect. (This provision does not apply to the druid version of the spell.)
Finally, you may choose to fix a single spell effect to the unhallowed site. The spell effect lasts for one year and functions throughout the entire site, regardless of its normal duration and area or effect. You may designate whether the effect applies to all creatures, creatures that share your faith or alignment, or creatures that adhere to another faith or alignment. At the end of the year, the chosen effect lapses, but it can be renewed or replaced simply by casting unhallow again.
Spell effects that may be tied to an unhallowed site include aid, bane, bless, cause fear, darkness, daylight, death ward, deeper darkness, detect magic, detect good, dimensional anchor, discern lies, dispel magic, endure elements, freedom of movement, invisibility purge, protection from energy, remove fear, resist energy, silence, tongues, and zone of truth.
Saving throws and spell resistance might apply to these spells’ effects. (See the individual spell descriptions for details.)
An area can receive only one unhallow spell (and its associated spell effect) at a time.
Unhallow counters but does not dispel hallow.

Blasphemy (DC 23)
Range: 40 ft.
Area: Nonevil creatures in a 40-ft.-radius spread centered on you
Duration: Instantaneous
Saving Throw:     None or Will negates; see text
Spell Resistance: Yes
Any nonevil creature within the area of a blasphemy spell suffers the following ill effects.
HD                             Effect
Equal to caster level     Dazed
Up to caster level -1     Weakened, dazed
Up to caster level -5     Paralyzed, weakened, dazed
Up to caster level -10     Killed, paralyzed, weakened, dazed
The effects are cumulative and concurrent.
No saving throw is allowed against these effects.
The creature can take no actions for 1 round, though it defends itself normally.
The creature’s Strength score decreases by 2d6 points for 2d4 rounds.
The creature is paralyzed and helpless for 1d10 minutes.
Living creatures die. Undead creatures are destroyed.
Furthermore, if you are on your home plane when you cast this spell, nonevil extraplanar creatures within the area are instantly banished back to their home planes. Creatures so banished cannot return for at least 24 hours. This effect takes place regardless of whether the creatures hear the blasphemy. The banishment effect allows a Will save (at a -4 penalty) to negate.
Creatures whose Hit Dice exceed your caster level are unaffected by blasphemy.

Destruction (DC 23)
Range:  Close (25 ft. + 5 ft./2 levels)
Target:     One creature
Duration: Instantaneous
Saving Throw:     Fortitude partial
Spell Resistance: Yes
This spell instantly slays the subject and consumes its remains (but not its equipment and possessions) utterly. If the target’s Fortitude saving throw succeeds, it instead takes 10d6 points of damage. The only way to restore life to a character who has failed to save against this spell is to use true resurrection, a carefully worded wish spell followed by resurrection, or miracle.

Horrid Wilting (DC 24) 20d8
Range:  Long (400 ft. + 40 ft./level)
Targets: Living creatures, no two of which can be more than 60 ft. apart
Duration: Instantaneous
Saving Throw:     Fortitude half
Spell Resistance: Yes
This spell evaporates moisture from the body of each subject living creature, dealing 1d6 points of damage per caster level (maximum 20d6). This spell is especially devastating to water elementals and plant creatures, which instead take 1d8 points of damage per caster level (maximum 20d8).

Gaseous Form
Range:     Touch
Target:     Willing corporeal creature touched
Duration: 2 min./level (D)
Saving Throw: None
Spell Resistance: No
The subject and all its gear become insubstantial, misty, and translucent. Its material armor (including natural armor) becomes worthless, though its size, Dexterity, deflection bonuses, and armor bonuses from force effects still apply. The subject gains damage reduction 10/magic and becomes immune to poison and critical hits. It can’t attack or cast spells with verbal, somatic, material, or focus components while in gaseous form. (This does not rule out the use of certain spells that the subject may have prepared using the feats Silent Spell, Still Spell, and Eschew Materials.) The subject also loses supernatural abilities while in gaseous form. If it has a touch spell ready to use, that spell is discharged harmlessly when the gaseous form spell takes effect.
A gaseous creature can’t run, but it can fly at a speed of 10 feet (maneuverability perfect). It can pass through small holes or narrow openings, even mere cracks, with all it was wearing or holding in its hands, as long as the spell persists. The creature is subject to the effects of wind, and it can’t enter water or other liquid. It also can’t manipulate objects or activate items, even those carried along with its gaseous form. Continuously active items remain active, though in some cases their effects may be moot.

Range:     Touch
Target:     Willing living creature touched
Duration: 1 min./level (D)
Saving Throw: None
Spell Resistance: No
This spell functions like alter self, except that you change the willing subject into another form of living creature. The new form may be of the same type as the subject or any of the following types: aberration, animal, dragon, fey, giant, humanoid, magical beast, monstrous humanoid, ooze, plant, or vermin. The assumed form can’t have more Hit Dice than your caster level (or the subject’s HD, whichever is lower), to a maximum of 15 HD at 15th level. You can’t cause a subject to assume a form smaller than Fine, nor can you cause a subject to assume an incorporeal or gaseous form. The subject’s creature type and subtype (if any) change to match the new form.
Upon changing, the subject regains lost hit points as if it had rested for a night (though this healing does not restore temporary ability damage and provide other benefits of resting; and changing back does not heal the subject further). If slain, the subject reverts to its original form, though it remains dead.
The subject gains the Strength, Dexterity, and Constitution scores of the new form but retains its own Intelligence, Wisdom, and Charisma scores. It also gains all extraordinary special attacks possessed by the form but does not gain the extraordinary special qualities possessed by the new form or any supernatural or spell-like abilities.
Incorporeal or gaseous creatures are immune to being polymorphed, and a creature with the shapechanger subtype can revert to its natural form as a standard action.

Summon Monster IX
Range: Close (25 ft. + 5 ft./2 levels)
Effect: One summoned creature
Duration: 1 round/level (D)
Saving Throw: None
Spell Resistance: No
This spell summons an extraplanar creature (typically an outsider, elemental, or magical beast  native to another plane). It appears where you designate and acts immediately, on your turn. It attacks your opponents to the best of its ability. If you can communicate with the creature, you can direct it not to attack, to attack particular enemies, or to perform other actions.

Barbed Devil (Hamatula) click to see monster
Size/Type:     Medium Outsider (Evil, Extraplanar, Lawful)
Hit Dice:     12d8+72 (126 hp)
Initiative:     +6
Speed:     30 ft. (6 squares)
Armor Class:     29 (+6 Dex, +13 natural), touch 16, flat-footed 23
Base Attack/Grapple:     +12/+22
Attack:     Claw +18 melee (2d8+6 plus fear)
Full Attack:     2 claws +18 melee (2d8+6 plus fear)
Space/Reach:     5 ft./5 ft.
Special Attacks:     Fear, improved grab, impale 3d8+9, summon devil
Special Qualities:     Barbed defense, damage reduction 10/good, darkvision 60 ft., immunity to fire and poison, resistance to acid 10 and cold 10, see in darkness, spell resistance 23, spell-like abilities, telepathy 100 ft.
Saves:     Fort +14, Ref +14, Will +12
Abilities:     Str 23, Dex 23, Con 23, Int 12, Wis 14, Cha 18
Skills:     Concentration +21, Diplomacy +6, Hide +21, Intimidate +19, Knowledge (any one) +16, Listen +19, Move Silently +21, Search +16, Sense Motive +17, Spot +19, Survival +2 (+4 following tracks)
Feats:     Alertness, Cleave, Improved Grapple, Iron Will, Power Attack
Environment:     A lawful evil-aligned plane
Organization:     Solitary, pair, team (3-5), or squad (6-10)
Challenge Rating:     11
Treasure:     Standard
Alignment:     Always lawful evil
Advancement:     13-24 (Medium); 25-36 HD (Large)
Level Adjustment:     —

A barbed devil is about 7 feet tall and weighs about 300 pounds.

Barbed devils eagerly fight with their claws, trying to impale their opponents. They use hold person to immobilize those who avoid their hug attacks.

A barbed devil’s natural weapons, as well as any weapons it wields, are treated as evil-aligned and lawful-aligned for the purpose of overcoming damage reduction.
Fear (Su)

A creature hit by a barbed devil must succeed on a DC 20 Will save or be affected as though by fear (caster level 9th).

Whether or not the save is successful, that creature cannot be affected by that same barbed devil’s fear ability for 24 hours. The save DC is Charisma-based.
Impale (Ex)

A barbed devil deals 3d8+9 points of piercing damage to a grabbed opponent with a successful grapple check.
Improved Grab (Ex)

To use this ability, a barbed devil must hit with a claw attack. It can then attempt to start a grapple as a free action without provoking an attack of opportunity. If it wins the grapple check, it establishes a hold and can impale the opponent on its barbed body.
Summon Devil (Sp)

Once per day a barbed devil can attempt to summon 1d6 bearded devils or another barbed devil with a 35% chance of success. This ability is the equivalent of a 4th-level spell.
Barbed Defense (Su)

Any creature striking a barbed devil with handheld weapons or natural weapons takes 1d8+6 points of piercing and slashing damage from the devil’s barbs. Note that weapons with exceptional reach, such as longspears, do not endanger their users in this way.
Spell-Like Abilities

At will—greater teleport (self plus 50 pounds of objects only), hold person (DC 16), major image (DC 17), scorching ray (2 rays only). 1/day—order’s wrath (DC 18), unholy blight (DC 18). Caster level 12th. The save DCs are Charisma-based.

Disciple of Dispater - Summon 1d4 Erinyes 1/day
Erinyes click to see monster
Size/Type:     Medium Outsider (Evil, Extraplanar, Lawful)
Hit Dice:     9d8+45 (85 hp)
Initiative:     +5
Speed:     30 ft. (6 squares), fly 50 ft. (good)
Armor Class:     23 (+5 Dex, +8 natural), touch 15, flat-footed 18
Base Attack/Grapple:     +9/+14
Attack:     Longsword +14 melee (1d8+5/19-20) or +1 flaming composite longbow (+5 Str bonus) +15 ranged (1d8+6/×3 plus 1d6 fire) or rope +14 ranged (entangle)
Full Attack:     Longsword +14/+9 melee (1d8+5/19-20) or +1 flaming composite longbow (+5 Str bonus) +15/+10 ranged (1d8+6/×3 plus 1d6 fire) or rope +14 ranged (entangle)
Space/Reach:     5 ft./5 ft.
Special Attacks:     Entangle, spell-like abilities, summon devil
Special Qualities:     Damage reduction 5/good, darkvision 60 ft., immunity to fire and poison, resistance to acid 10 and cold 10, see in darkness, spell resistance 20, telepathy 100 ft., true seeing
Saves:     Fort +11, Ref +11, Will +10
Abilities:     Str 21, Dex 21, Con 21, Int 14, Wis 18, Cha 20
Skills:     Concentration +17, Diplomacy +7, Escape Artist +17, Hide +17, Knowledge (any two) +14, Listen +16, Move Silently +17, Search +14, Sense Motive +16, Spot +16, Survival +4 (+6 following tracks), Use Rope +5 (+7 with bindings)
Feats:     DodgeB, MobilityB, Point Blank Shot, Precise Shot, Rapid Shot, Shot on the Run
Environment:     A lawful evil-aligned plane
Organization:     Solitary
Challenge Rating:     8
Treasure:     Standard, plus rope and +1 flaming composite longbow (+5 Str bonus)
Alignment:     Always lawful evil
Advancement:     10-18 HD (Medium)
Level Adjustment:     +7

Unlike other devils, erinyes appear attractive to humans, resembling very comely women or men. An erinyes stands about 6 feet tall and weighs about 150 pounds.

Erinyes speak Infernal, Celestial, and Draconic.

Erinyes prefer to engage in combat from a distance. They use charm monster to distract or disorganize their opponents, then rain down fiery arrows from above.

An erinyes’s natural weapons, as well as any weapons it wields, are treated as evil-aligned and lawful-aligned for the purpose of overcoming damage reduction.
Entangle (Ex)

Each erinyes carries a stout rope some 50 feet long that entangles opponents of any size as an animate rope spell (caster level 16th). An erinyes can hurl its rope 30 feet with no range penalty. Typically, an erinyes entangles a foe, lifts it into the air, and drops it from a great height.
Spell-Like Abilities

At will—greater teleport (self plus 50 pounds of objects only), charm monster (DC 19), minor image (DC 17), unholy blight (DC 19). Caster level 12th. The save DCs are Charisma-based.
Summon Devil (Sp)

Once per day an erinyes can attempt to summon 2d10 lemures or 1d4 bearded devils with a 50% chance of success. This ability is the equivalent of a 3rd-level spell.
True Seeing (Su)

Erinyes continuously use true seeing, as the spell (caster level 14th).

The product of a coupling between his ogre mage father and erinyes mother, Goramas was raised on the second layer of Baator, in the labyrinthine city of Dis. His young life was spent learning the politics of Hell, as well as being taught all there was to know about warfare and strategy. As is usually the case with a baatezu parent, his conception was all part of a premeditated plan. A powerful devil can take millennia to rise up from the lowly state of a lemure, and as the hordes of the Abyss are both relentless and theoretically infinite, that is a very long time to wait. Yet in only forty short years, mighty Goramas was outpacing his mother and her fellows on the field of battle.

It was shortly after he was seen strangling a Balor with it's own whip that Dispater realized that he might have created Goramas a bit too well.

Renowned throughout the planes for his paranoia, the Iron Duke decided that having a servant near at hand that came so close to rivaling his own power might put his position in jeopardy. Not so long ago, another layer of Hell had been ruled by a powerful hag instead of a true devil; it did not stretch the imagination too far to think that Goramas may well command enough respect to claim the Iron Throne.

Suddenly faced with the problem of having a servant that was too dangerous to keep close, yet too valuable to discard, Dispater decided it was time to expand his holdings to the Prime Material. Goramas was cast from Hell with the instructions to raise a mighty army and conquer a continent in the name of Dis, that the resources and people of that place might be turned to his master's ends.

Goramas is never caught unawares, having learned the art of paranoia beneath none other than mighty Dispater himself. In the incredibly unlikely event that he's forced into combat (which he now views as beneath him, as he is no longer doing the work of a soldier, but a general), he will do all he can to keep distance between himself and his assailants until he's had the chance to summon a hamatula and his eryinyes vanguard. He'll then continue making liberal use of his spell-like abilities, leading with a Destruction cast on whoever seems most likely to be the party's mage, and then following up with a Horrid Wilting. After that, he prefers to teleport in to the midst of the group to take the fight directly to their spellcasters, bringing them down as quickly and efficiently as possible (likely making use of power attack, though his cautious nature usually keeps him from taking more than a -7 penalty on attack), while flashing the Buckler of the Lost at the melee fighters of the party.

Against other warriors, he prefers to sunder their weapons until they are forced to draw their backup blades, at which point he'll press the advantage. If he takes more than 100 points of damage, he teleports away at the first opportunity, unless the PCs have slain his daughter, in which case he will continue to fight until taking 200 points of damage. If forced to retreat, he will use the Farseer Orb to stalk those who defeated him, then teleport to their location when they are at their most vulnerable. Otherwise, he's quite prepared to wait for his foes to die of old age while he methodically forges a stronghold elsewhere on the Prime Material.

[Note! If you are playing in the Forgotten Realms campaign setting, it is suggested that you consider moving Goramas and his forces in to Hellgate keep. The misleading name of the place would offend him to the point of expunging all of the demons and establishing it as his first stronghold, from which he would methodically extend his iron grip across Faerun. It has become a point of honor for him to teach the mortals that the undirected and senselessly violent spawn of the Abyss are nothing compared to the legions of Hell.]

Eisengorge [+5 Wounding/Marrowcrushing bastard sword]
Int 18, Wis 19, Cha 19, Ego 35

Eisengorge is a weapon forged in the Hells. It is possessed by a Pit Fiend by the same name, a servant of Dis who, many years ago had failed in his duty. In light of his otherwise flawless record, the Pit Fiend was spared the indignation of demotion, instead locked within the magical blade which allows him to continue serving Dispater's interests on a higher level than he otherwise might.

The wielder of Eisengorge is encouraged by the blade to attempt to parlay before combat, so it might have the opportunity to read the thoughts of those it may soon be battling, in the hopes of uncovering some weakness, and also makes frequent use of it's Clairvoyance ability to ensure that it and it's wielder can be properly prepared.

While Eisengorge considers itself a superior mind to whoever it has been bestowed upon, it is loathe to rebel against it's wielder because each time it does so results in another year  added to it's 1000 year sentence (which is still a bargain compared to clawing his way back up through the Infernal ranks from a lemure). This, of course, only applies to agents of Dispater. Should someone else come into possession of the sword, it is encouraged to turn them into thralls of evil. It is Eisengorge's dearest hope that through the ineptitude of a wielder, it may one day fall into the hands of some muscle-bound dimwit of a warrior, that it may use such a person to further it's own interests.

Eisengorge speaks and reads common, abyssal, celestial, infernal, and draconic.
Eisengorge can communicate telepathically with it's wielder, and Read Magic at will.

Detect Thoughts (Will DC 17, Range: 60 ft cone)
You detect surface thoughts. The amount of information revealed depends on how long you study a particular area or subject.
1st Round
Presence or absence of thoughts (from conscious creatures with Intelligence scores of 1 or higher).
2nd Round
Number of thinking minds and the Intelligence score of each. If the highest Intelligence is 26 or higher (and at least 10 points higher than your own Intelligence score), you are stunned for 1 round and the spell ends. This spell does not let you determine the location of the thinking minds if you can’t see the creatures whose thoughts you are detecting.
3rd Round
Surface thoughts of any mind in the area. A target’s Will save prevents you from reading its thoughts, and you must cast detect thoughts again to have another chance. Creatures of animal intelligence (Int 1 or 2) have simple, instinctual thoughts that you can pick up.
Each round, you can turn to detect thoughts in a new area. The spell can penetrate barriers, but 1 foot of stone, 1 inch of common metal, a thin sheet of lead, or 3 feet of wood or dirt blocks it

Cure Moderate Wounds on wielder (2d8+3)

Locate Object
You sense the direction of a well-known or clearly visualized object. You can search for general items, in which case you locate the nearest one of its kind if more than one is within range. Attempting to find a certain item requires a specific and accurate mental image; if the image is not close enough to the actual object, the spell fails. You cannot specify a unique item unless you have observed that particular item firsthand (not through divination).
The spell is blocked by even a thin sheet of lead. Creatures cannot be found by this spell. Polymorph any object fools it.

Zone of Truth (DC 17, Range: 30 ft, Area: 20-ft radius emanation)
Creatures within the emanation area (or those who enter it) can’t speak any deliberate and intentional lies. Each potentially affected creature is allowed a save to avoid the effects when the spell is cast or when the creature first enters the emanation area. Affected creatures are aware of this enchantment. Therefore, they may avoid answering questions to which they would normally respond with a lie, or they may be evasive as long as they remain within the boundaries of the truth. Creatures who leave the area are free to speak as they choose.

Clairvoyance creates an invisible magical sensor at a specific location that enables you to hear or see (your choice) almost as if you were there. You don’t need line of sight or line of effect, but the locale must be known—a place familiar to you or an obvious one. Once you have selected the locale, the sensor doesn’t move, but you can rotate it in all directions to view the area as desired. Unlike other scrying spells, this spell does not allow magically or supernaturally enhanced senses to work through it. If the chosen locale is magically dark, you see nothing. If it is naturally pitch black, you can see in a 10-foot radius around the center of the spell’s effect. Clairvoyance functions only on the plane of existence you are currently occupying.

As a magical blade, Eisengorge's special purpose is to defend the servants and interests of  Dispater, and to that end can cast Waves of Exhaustion  at will as a Standard action.
Range:     60 ft.
Area: Cone-shaped burst
Duration: Instantaneous
Saving Throw:     No
Spell Resistance: Yes (Caster level 15)
Waves of negative energy cause all living creatures in the spell’s area to become exhausted. An exhausted character moves at half speed and takes a -6 penalty to Strength and Dexterity. After 1 hour of complete rest, an exhausted character becomes fatigued. A fatigued character becomes exhausted by doing something else that would normally cause fatigue. This spell has no effect on a creature that is already exhausted.

Friday, April 22, 2011

Pottymouthed Adventurers!

Sometimes things get tense in a game, and this tension can lead to some really colorful commentary. While that's all well and good if it's your style, there are some instances where using modern day slang might break the ambiance, raise the tension to an out of game level (if for example, one PC is lambasting another), or be unwelcome, as when gaming at a local gaming shop.

To do away with these situations, we make use of the following list. Not only is it relatively mild and fit for public ears, but it actually adds another layer of fun to the gaming sessions, and makes sure that any in-game tensions are expressed in a manner that remains lighthearted for the players.

This isn't my list; in fact, I'm not really sure who made it first as I've seen it posted all over the web. If you guys think of any other cool curses or innuendos, post them in the comments for the consideration of others!

Thanks to whatever enterprising gamer took the time to generate this list first for our amusement.
 (I've taken the liberty of slipping a few gems from JourneyQuest in and amongst the originals.)

General exclamations/curses
“By the hells!”
“By the fiery gates of Gehenna!”
"Gods and heroes!"
“Gods above 'n' fiends below!”
“Shyte!” [Generally seen as a better variant of “S***”]
"Rut!" [Generally seen as a better variant of "F***". "Rut the rutting rutters."]
"Sod!" [A term of derision. "Sod the quest!"]
“Damn / Damnation!”
"Dark" or "Dark and empty" [roughly equivalent to "crap"; prevalent in Sembia]
“Dented shields and broken swords!” [curse, esp. used by warriors and military folk]

Personal abuse - men
“Whoreson” [questions someone's parentage, but a general term of abuse]
“Orcwit” [fool, idiot]
“Orcsnack” [a green recruit]
“Badblood” [a troublemaker]
“Troll dung” [abusive, esp. used by dwarves]

Personal abuse - women

Divine oaths
“(by) Auril's kiss!” [A sudden realization of something terrible; a cold slap in the face.]
“(by) Bane's Black Blood.”
“(by) Beshaba's (bad) breath!” [normally used to indicate bad luck, or to curse an unfortunate event]
“By the combined crotches of all Beshaba's chosen!”
“(by) Clangeddin's stones!”
“Cyric's Sword!” [Curse and double entendre. It is generally frowned upon and considered bad luck to mention the Dark Sun's name.]
“Gond's Gears!” [A curse, something unnecessarily complicated and unlikely to work.]
“(by) Hanali’s Golden Heart!” [polite exclamation, used esp. by elven nobles]
“Helm's Haemorrhoids!” [Irreverent, to deride a necessary but unappealling task.]
“Ilmater's patience!” [When someone is timewasting, also “You'd try the patience of Ilmater himself!”]
“By the (Crying) God's Tears!” [Polite exclamation; Ilmateri normally omit “Crying”]
“By the light of Lathander.” [Normally a blessing, but also an exclamation.]
“By the last sunrise!” [Oath used by priests of Lathander, the Morninglord.]
“Leira's Lamentation(s).” [Something that is not what it seems, particularly feigned grief. A double entendre when spoken because Lliira (Our Lady of Joy) is pronounced the same way as Leira (Lady of the Mists).]
“Loviatar's Caress.” [Something that hurts, also “Loviatar's Lash”, for those less given to subtlety.]
“(by) Moradin's hairy pair!”
“Mystra's Miracles!” [An exclamation of surprise, as when something happens by unexpected magic.]
“May the Wandering God's heel tread lightly on you.”
“(by the) clanging stones of the Wanderer!” [i.e. Shaundakul]
“By the Six rods of Shakazakh”
“Great Stinking Balls of Tempus!” [A battle cry]
“Talos' teeth!”

Regional oaths (alphabetically)
[Cormyr] “Keep your Peace Knot tied.” [i.e. calm down]
[Cormyr] “A hero must move.”
[Cormyr] “(you've) the reach of Gondegal!” [said to someone attempting something they cannot hope to achieve. Derived from the saying “Gondegal's reach was longer than his blade”, of the Lost King's brief rule over Arabel.]
[the Dales, Western Heartlands] “In the East, perhaps!” [untrue, absurd, as of a fanciful story or unlikely tale.]
[the Dales] “Mind the barn when it’s full, not empty. “ [i.e. don’t waste time on something that doesn’t need done.]
[the Dales] “Zhent deal” [a double-cross.]
[Mulmaster] “Fear and loyalty are the same word.”
[Thay] “Tamm's cold hands!”
[The North] “Klauth”, [“vicious”, as in “Don't go near him early of mornings; he's apt to be a right Klauth until he's had a mug or two.” or: “Blood and bodies looked as though old Klauth himself had come calling!” or the shorter variant: “Regular Klauth work!”, used to describe butchery. These all derive from the nasty brutality of the great red wyrm Klauth.]
[Zhentil Keep] “Rewarded like Zhentar.” [“Betrayed.”]
[Zhentil Keep] “For god, keep and master.” [Traditional salute of the Zhentarim. The keep refers to Zhentil Keep, ‘master’ to whoever is its leader, be it Fzoul or Manshoon, and 'god’ to Bane or Cyric.]

Planar oaths
[I haven't included these, as you'd need your character to have a pretty improbable reason for knowing them. However, there's an *excellent* list at: ]

“Ashdautas Vrasubatlat.” [“Someday I will kill you”, a standard Orcish greeting]
“Nar Udautas.” [“Not today”, the standard reply]

“Amal shufar, at rrug.” [“Where there's a whip, there's a way.”]
“Mirdautas vras.” [“It is a good day to kill”]
“Zanbaur.” [“Elfson”]

“Axe high, friend, I go” [Dwarven farewell]
“May your axe be ever bright” [Dwarven farewell]
“I go” {Dwarven farewell – not impolite, often used by merchants]

“sargh” [orc, or orc-filth. Abusive term.]
“By my beard!” [The speaker is being VERY serious.]
“His beard is long.” or “...longer than his years.” [indicates wisdom]
“no-beard” or “shorthair” [meant as an insult to any race; particularly grave to another dwarf]
“You stand tall among us.” [complimentary; the actual height of the person in question is irrelevant - it's impossible for a dwarf to use this ironically.]
“His axe is sharp.” [said of a good strategic thinker.]
“Under the Mountain.” [Safe, well protected.]
“Open to the sky.” [Unsafe, unprotected. Also an insult, i.e. someone is a liability.]
“Gordul!” [“Gods look on!”]
“Calass.” [a thief]
“dur Authalar” [“the people”, only really used by wild dwarves]
“Fair as the Holy Hammer!” [Effectively means “Unfair”, “Unjust”; when addressed directly to a person (“Soft with the Holy Hammer!”) it means “Calm down”, or “Ease off”. The Holy Hammer are a dwarven group dedicated to the survival and improvement of the dwarven race and the lot of the dwarves. The dubious means (including murder and intimidation) by which they go about this noble-sounding end results in an expression which means the reverse of what one might expect.]
“Sandstone!” [Serious exclamation; literally stone too soft and crumbling to be workable.]
"As wild as a night in Wildstar." [Bawdy: Wildstar is an underground town of gold dwarves]
"For the arduke." [A battle-cry. The arduke is a title of the clan's chieftain used among the gold dwarves]

“Shardae” [“Winds blow.” A neutral elven greeting indicating that chance has brought you together.]
“Sweet water and light laughter until next” [elven farewell, becoming adopted by nobles across the Heartlands]
“Vedui” [greeting; see “Vendui” below]
“Vendui” [Drow *only* - greeting. Surface elves will *not* be impressed if you use this to them]
“Aluve” [Drow *only* - “I/we leave you”.]

“Est eionivan ei tie Myotha.” [“Until the stones forget.” A green elven curse, pronounced in all seriousness on those who have done some great harm to the People. Based on the idea that all things have an anima or spirit which the People can speak with and that the stones have the longest memories.]
“Nadorhuan(rim)” [“Cowardly dog(s)”]
“Mereth en draugrim” [“Feast of wolves”, i.e. a slain enemy]
“Andodulin” [“Gate bird”, i.e. a slain enemy]
“Auta miqula orqu” [“Go kiss an orc”]
“Lasta lalaithamin” [“Listen to my laughter”, dismissive]
“Antolle ulua sulrim” [“Much wind pours from your mouth”]
“Utinu en lokirim” [“Son of snakes”, i.e. a dishonest person]
“Lle naa haran e' nausalle” [“You are king in your imagination”, to a pompous person]
“Amin feuya ten' lle” [“You disgust me”]
“Lle holma ve' edan” [“You smell like a human”]
“Dolle naa lost” [“Your head is empty”]

“Forges warm, friend” [Gnomish farewell]

“(to) set the gears in motion.” [Getting things started, often with the mechanistic gnomish mentality that all things work like machines.]
“(he) always casts a shadow.” [Mild or medium insult. Suggestive of the inability to hide *in* the shadows or use illusions to avoid detection.]

“Good morning, and good day after that! Don't let anything curl your hair!” [Halfling greeting, to which is sometimes added, “'Ware the Big Folk, and mind the goblins too!”]
“Gods smile (upon you)!” [Halfling greeting to the impatient other races.]
“Brandobaris watch over your shadows.” [Hin farewell]

Hello and goodbye
“Well met” [Most often used greeting, especially between races or to those about whom you are unsure.]
“Well again” [Used between business associates or acquaintances]
“Again.” [Hostile greeting. Abbreviated from “Well again.”]
“Olore” [Equivalent to 'well met', used by travelers in the Inner Sea lands, especially around the Sea of Fallen Stars.]
“Until swords part” [Warriors' farewell throughout the Realms.]
“Until next, may your sword be ever wet, and your arse dry” [the Pirates of the Inner Sea]
“Alavairthae!” [A Thayan farewell, particularly among the Red Wizards. Means “May your skill prevail!”.]
“Amarast!” [“Fare well until next we meet!”, used by the sailors of the South.]
“Braeunk vhos trolkh!” [Hobgoblin: “If you die while I'm gone, do it quietly.” Also implies the unspoken addendum: “because I wouldn't want to miss the fun.”]
“Tantam.” [Greeting used by merchants of all sorts in the North.]
“Oakfather keep the earth firm beneath your feet and the sun warm on your face ‘till next we meet.” [Also: “Rillifane...”, “Eldath…”, etc., and abbreviated to “Firm earth, warm sun ‘till next.” Farewell common amongst followers of most nature deities]

“That hound won't hunt.” [Indicates a poorly thought-out idea or ill-judged plan. Mildly insulting.]
"Watch thy step, or your gold will soon be gilding Gondegal's throne!" [Warning expression. "Gondegal's throne" refers to anything likely to be a money-sink.]
“(you'd) sell slaves in Silverymoon.” [to do something that violates local law/custom in a particularly outrageous and obvious way and then say: “I didn't know any better.”]
“(caught) between the Dragon and the Desert.” [between a rock and a hard place - to face two equally unattractive possibilities.]
“No more Firewine for the Barbarian.” [said of someone going too far with a jest or a plan. “firewine” can be replaced by “jhuild”, and “the Barbarian” by whoever it applies to.]
“Fool's Gold”, or “To take Fool's Gold.” [An adventurer's watchword meaning to take on an adventure so dangerous that only the god Torm (The True, the Foolish) would attempt it.]

Bawdiness and Innuendo
"Huff, to" [To have sex]
“Satyr’s pleasure” [The act of love]
“saece” (E: “SAY-sss”) [cross-dresser (either gender)]
“wild one / thaethiira” (E: “thAY-th-EAR-ah”) [male or female who enjoys being forcibly enspelled (including shapechanging) as part of sexual play
“coin-lass, coin-lad” [prostitute]
“praed” [male homosexual]
“liyan” (E: “LEE-awwn”) [male homosexual]
“dathna” [effeminate male homosexual]
“tasmar” [bisexual man]
“winker” [lecher]
“cod-loose winker” [Casanova, tireless woman-chaser]
“dusk” [masochistic man; refers to a male who enjoys self-bondage and/or being bound, being whipped or pierced or otherwise hurt]
“Thruss” [lesbian]
“Battlebud” [dyke]
“Harnor” [a butch or manly woman]
“Rose” [a submissive female, commonly used sexually]
“Dusk rose” [a masochistic female]
“Shaeda” (E: “SHAY-dah”) [bisexual female]

Rank and Title
Position........... ............Male........... ..........Female
Commoner.......... ............Goodman.......... ....Goodwife or Maid
Knight, Officer.......... ........Sir.............. .........Lady, or Lady Sir
Mayor, Warden,....... .........Lord....... ......Lady, or Lady Lord Commander, Seneschal
Baron, Count......... ...........Milord........ .........Milady
Duke, Viscount, Marquis.. ...High Lord..... .......High Lady
Grand Duke, Prince....... ....Highness........ .....Highness
King, Queen, Archduke.. ....Majesty.......... .....Majesty

General titles for male/female nobility of uncertain rank:
[Mulmaster] “Zor/Zora”
[Calimshan] “Syl”
[Everywhere else] "Saer" [Also applies to children of nobility too young or low-ranking to have been awarded titles of their own.]

In general Heartlands usage, the head of a noble house is "Lord Grayhill", his children are all "Saer [name] Grayhill." His widowed or aged parents, or older uncles and aunts living but bypassed in precedence are "Old Lord (or Lady) Grayhill."

Personae Malevolent 4; Ape Slaad

Name: Ape Slaad
Race:  Magical Beast
Classes: Magical Beast 6
Alignment N
This hulking monstrosity lurches about on it's over sized fists, unnaturally long tongue dangling from it's mouth from betwix unsettlingly large canines. It's beady black eyes are somehow suffused with beastial intelligence, nostrils flaring as it sniffs the air, all while muttering noises that sound not unlike some awkwardly-spoken eldritch language. An ape slaad is always hunched forward on it's knuckles, but if it were to stand straight it would easily reach 9 feet in height, weighing around 600 lbs.
Single, Mated Pair (2), Pack (3-6), Knot (7-20)
ECL - 5


STR 24 (7)
DEX 16 (3)
CON 16 (3)
INT 5 (-3)
WIS 13 (1)
CHA 8 (-1)

Speed: 30
Initiative: 3
BAB: 6
Grapple: 17

AC 16 (-1 size, +3 Dex, +5 Natural)
Flat Footed  13, Touch 12

HP 59

Fort 8
Ref 8
Will 3

Claw, +13 melee (1d8+7)
Bite, +13 melee (1d8+3 save DC 16 vs poison,)
Tongue, +9 melee (1d4+7, save DC 16 vs poison,)

Full Attack
Claw/Claw +13 melee, and Bite +11 melee
Tongue, +9 melee and Bite +11 melee

Space/Reach 10 ft/10 ft. (tongue up to 20 ft)

Class/Racial/Extraordinary Abilities:
Darkvision 60 ft
Low-Light Vision
An ape slaad's coloration gives it a +4 racial bonus on Hide checks.
An ape slaad has had the toad aspect of it's composition enhanced to make great leaps, giving it a +10 racial bonus on Jump checks.

Fantastic Leap (Ex)
An ape slaad is able to make all jumps as though it had a running start.

Rend (Ex)
An ape slaad that hits with both claw attacks latches onto the opponent’s body and tears the flesh. This attack automatically deals an extra 2d8+10 points of damage.

Improved Grab (Ex)
To use this ability, an ape slaad must hit with it's tongue attack. It can then grapple as a swift action and pull a grabbed opponent of medium or smaller size into it's mouth in the same round, then making a bite attack. The ape slaad can then maintain the grapple with just it's mouth while leaving it's hands free, but must do so at a -10 penalty.

An ape slaad keeps a thick coating of powerful hallucinogenic saliva along the inside of it's mouth and over it's tongue. Failing a DC 16 Fort save renders the target Stunned for 1d4+1 rounds, whereafter he is Dazed for 1 additional round.

A Stunned creature drops everything held, can’t take actions, takes a –2 penalty to AC, and loses his Dexterity bonus to AC.
A Dazed creature can take no actions, but has no penalty to AC.

Improved Natural Armor
Improved Natural Attack (claws)


Hide - Ranks (6) + (dex) + misc (3)= 12

Jump - Ranks (6) + (str) + misc (10)= 23

Move Silently - Ranks (6) + (dex) + misc ()= 9

Fluff and tactics:
The ape slaad is not a true slaad at all, but rather a magical beast created by crossing a toad with a dire ape (though another way to look at the name might be a "mimic slaad", as ape is also a word for mimic). This creature was created by a clever mage who wanted to be able to scare people off by fooling them into thinking he had bound several red slaadi to his service. The fruit of his labor resulted in a reasonable facsimile, likely good enough to fool anyone who hasn't seen a slaad before, and in fact, produced a being who was superior in some ways (though slightly inferior when taken on the whole).

An ape slaad is just smart enough to be taught to parrot a few words in the slaadi tongue, though they are nonsense sounds as far as the beast is concerned. Though they understand a few words of Common, these are usually limited to simple commands at best. A combination of breeding and magical enhancement have resulted in ape slaadi being very obidient to one particular master, as well as having enhanced strength and jumping capabilities and the hallucinogenic poison the toad half would naturally secrete through the skin being weaponized into a sort of venom.

After the eventual death of the arch mage who first engineered their race, ape slaad began breeding in the wild, and have started to establish a foothold in the wilderness around their old tower. Their protective instincts drive them to be violently territorial to a degree that might surprise even their dire-ape ancestors, and as their numbers increase they start to "protect" a wider and wider area. When a Knot begins to exceed about 20 members, a portion of the group will break off and range far afield in search of more plentiful hunting grounds.

True slaadi tend to have violent reactions to ape slaadi, and do their best to kill them whenever they have an encounter, though such an event is rare.

In combat, an ape slaad hurls itself into the fray with wild abandon, howling and croaking in a bizarre amalgamation of sounds from each side of it's lineage, while slashing away with it's oversized claws and fangs. Against multiple opponents, most ape slaad have been trained to look for the person wearing the least armor to target with their tongue attack, which often results in the legs of an unfortunate spellcaster dangling from the ape slaad's mouth. It can hold prey in it's mouth and throat with relative ease, making a bite attack against the unfortunate (possibly stunned) person in it's jaws while still slashing away with it's arms. They have learned that humanoids are a serious threat when they are encountered, and are cunning enough to leave a single wounded humanoid as bait when others are nearby, knowing that they tend to hurry to their own kind.

The party is moving along a well known caravan route that snakes through the woods, on their guard against a band of highwaymen known to harass the area. Perhaps they're escorting a caravan to make some extra coin, or alternately it may just be part of their journey. Suddenly, a horrible cacophony erupts from the woods a few hundred feet ahead, and a man clad in leather armor bursts from the tree line. He makes it a few feet into the road before a thin line shoots out and snags him, dragging him back toward a hulking shape just barely out of sight.

This was the last of the highwaymen, the gang having run afoul of a pack of 5 ape slaadi. Two of the slaadi are at injured, one being at 41 HP and the other at 37. All of them are lingering near the road, and have spotted the party. After some far off babbling croaks, the dying highway man is spat back out on to the road at -7 HP, the slaadi hunkering down to make use of their natural coloration to hide from the new threats, waiting to set an ambush as the man moans in agony.

Wednesday, April 20, 2011

I got to interview Christian Doyle, JourneyQuest's Perf!

Thanks Christian. Just got our signed JourneyQuest DVD in the mail yesterday! My wife and I are huge fans of all of you guys.

Christian Doyle
Thanks for being fans. And keep watching, season two is gonna be awesome!

Oh man, we can't wait.

Christian Doyle
We have a new cast member next season who is a bonafide Whedon alum.

Um...sorry, I thought you were alluding to Scott just then.
Who is the Whedon alum?

Christian Doyle
Fran Kranz (Topher from Dollhouse) I don't count Scott because he's always around. He's my best friend after all.

You guys might have the best job in the world.

Christian Doyle
Might? I get to be a wizard! I get to sword fight and kiss pretty girls and that's my job. Pay or no pay that IS the best job in the world.

You just dawned on me that in Dorkness Rising AND JourneyQuest, you played an arcane caster. Any in-game preferences to do with that?

Christian Doyle
Nope. I don't play characters that use magic. Ever. Fighters and rogues for me.

Oh yeah? That's actually sort of funny in a way I can't exactly put my finger on.

Christian Doyle
It goes back to my obsession with swords.

How are we defining "obsession" here?

Christian Doyle
When i was a kid (3years old) I got cut by a very sharp knife. So I became afraid of sharp things. When I was 8 My step dad gave me a pocket knife and told me it was time to get over it. So I did in a very big way. I have gone out of my way to learn everything that i can about very sharp things. how they're made, how to use them properly. fencing, escrima, Chinese sword, broadsword, and lots of stage combat. That's how I get over my fears. I think of my Dad telling me to suck it up and stop being a Nance, Then I jump in head first no matter how shallow the water is.
and thta was the short answer

That's awesome! I was going to ask if you'd had the chance to train with the Seattle Knights at all, but it sounds like you might be able to show them a thing or two. Have your parents seen all of the stuff you've acted in?

Christian Doyle
The seattle knights are a HUGE part of JourneyQuest and I look forward very much to working with them more in the future. They have a really defined style and system of stage combat that I'm very eager to learn.
My Mom and late Stepfather watch everything they can. But I'm in so many shows every year that they can't keep up.
also my stepfather hasn't seen anything I've done since he died. But I'll forgive him
I mean, it's not like he's just being lazy...

That's very decent of you! You've been in a lot of stuff, and in the JourneyQuest extras, you and Brian mention doing some Shakespeare, showing that you have a broad range of acting interests. Two questions come to mind from that;
1) If you could have any role ever, even something that you could create from the ground up, what would it be?
and 2) William Shakespeare or R.L.McSterlingthong?

Christian Doyle
1.) hands down: Sherlock Holmes...oh...and Hamlet.
2.) Shakespeare (but it's fair to say that it's only because R.L. gave him his inspiration....according to him)

And so once again the student surpasses the master. Both of the aforementioned bards are world-renowned for their ability to craft tales of woe, casting a stark light on matters of the heart, good and evil, and the way the line in between can sometimes blur. I was hoping you could help straighten me out on something to do with that topic.
Glorian; Pure evil, or innocent by virtue of crushing stupidity?

Christian Doyle
I really shouldn't say... But he's absolutely psychotic either way.

Fair enough. Changing the topic back to RPGs really quick; have you got a favorite system? 4e, Pathfinder, or any of the lesser-known?

Christian Doyle
I truly do not have a preference. I've been playing a lot of Pathfinder lately, but I'm always down to play any system. I've been in the mood for a good Superhero game...

Got a favorite story?

Christian Doyle
Lots of them. I read a lot.

Sorry, I actually meant a gaming story. Some awesome crowning moment of a campaign in which you took part.

Christian Doyle
So many... defeating Undermountain without dying. Fighting Orcus on his home plane. Finishing the "Harlequin Module" for Shadowrun and escaping the Tomb of Horrors intact to name just a few.

Tomb of Horrors! Oh man, that place was awesome...! For me, I mean. I made my players run through it. The Argent Pride had a relatively low mortality rate, how did the rest of your party fare? (And what edition?)

Christian Doyle
3.5. we lost two of 5

Not bad. How'd they go?

Christian Doyle
Both killed by the Dookie Monster.

Ooooooh. Yep, I know which one you mean.

Christian Doyle
That thing was ridiculous.
Nearly killed us all.

I'd better be careful or I'm gonna get into spoilers here.
Dead Gentleman has been working with Paizo in a way that an outsider may assume to be similar to the way Dorkness worked with W.O.T.C. Is there a similar Pathfinder/JourneyQuest tie in there? I've been looking for a spell to blast somebody with milk, and haven't had any luck...

Christian Doyle
That would be something to ask Ben Dobyns or Matt Vancil about. I just act.
But from what I understand, Conjure Milk is just a create water spell that Perf has managed to weaponize.

And pasteurize. I figure it's about time I let you off the hook (for the interview anyway. I'm probably gonna chew your ear off about ToH off the record). Thanks for being so generous and offering us these insights. Anything you'd like to say to wrap up?

Christian Doyle
We have the best fans in the world. Thanks for letting us tell you stories

Go watch him and the others for free on Youtube in both Dorkness Rising and JourneyQuest, and if (lets be honest; when) you love what you see, remember to support their efforts either by donating, buying the DVDs, or even just spreading the word around to people you know who would be interested.

Tuesday, April 19, 2011

Personae Malevolent 3; Gory Rory

Name: Rory      
Race: Halfing (Grave-Touched Ghoul)
Classes: Rogue (3)
Alignment: CE
Religion: Doresain, King of the Ghouls
[CR 4]
This unfortunate hin has been transformed into a vile parody of his former self.  His (relatively) tall frame is hunched forward slightly, flesh appearing drawn and gaunt. A feral red light burns in his once cheerful eyes, brown hair matted with grease, and a thin layer of gore caked around his lips. At the end of his right arm, his hand has been replaced with a viscous looking blade, the hilt of which has been driven up into his wrist and affixed with several lengths of leather twine. When he speaks his voice is raspy and twisted, a note of madness evident behind every syllable.


STR 15
DEX 22
INT 18
WIS 19
CHA 18

Speed 30
Initiative +10
BAB 2/Grapple 7

AC 22 (23 vs target of Dodge)
Flat Footed  16, touch 18

Masterwork leather armor [+2 ac, max dex +7, -0 armor check penalty]
Natural armor 2
Deflection +1
Size bonus +1

HP 29

Fort 1
Ref 8
Will 5

+2 (small) corrosive stump sword
[+10 to hit, 1d4+4+1d6 acid, 19-20 x2]

Natural weapons
[+8 to hit, 1d4+1+Ghoul Fever {Fort save DC 15, incubation period 1 day, damage 1d3 Con and 1d3 Dex}, + Paralysis {Fort save DC 19, paralyzed for 1d4+1 rounds}, x2]
[+8 to hit,  1d3+2+Paralysis {Fort save DC 19, paralyzed for 1d4+1 rounds}, x2]


+8 to hit, 1d4+4+1d6 acid, 19-20 x2
+8 to hit,  1d3+2+Paralysis {Fort save DC 19, paralyzed for 1d4+1 rounds}, x2
+6 to hit, 1d4+1+Ghoul Fever {Fort save DC 15, incubation period 1 day, damage 1d3 Con and 1d3 Dex}, + Paralysis {Fort save DC 19, paralyzed for 1d4+1 rounds}, x2

Class/Racial Abilities
Dark Vision 70 feet.
Sneak attack 2d6
Trap Sense +1
Trap Finding
Turn resistance +2
Diet dependant on flesh
[If he cannot feed on living or dead flesh at least once every 3 days, Rory must make a DC 15 Will save or suffer 2d4 Wisdom damage. As his Wisdom gets lower, it becomes harder for him to fight off his need to feed, and when he eventually reaches 0 Wisdom he will fly into an uncontrollable, bestial fury, disregarding his own safety until he's satisfied his hunger. However, as dead flesh will do, (and is in fact preferred) it's relatively simple to plunder a graveyard, thereby avoiding great personal risk.]
Undead traits

Improved Initiative
Weapon Finesse
Improved Paralysis [+4 DC to Paralysis ability]
Multiattack [secondary natural attacks take -2 penalty instead of -5]

You find water, particularly deep water, frightening.
Drawback: If a Hydrophobic character is ever in water that is one foot or greater than their height in depth, they will need to make a Will save with a DC equal to 10 + 1/2 character level. If they succeed, they can continue swimming. If they fail, they will become shaken and attempt to leave the water, as fast as possible, using the shortest route.
If an Hydrophobic character is ever asked to enter water that is one foot or greater than their height in depth, they must make the same Will save they would if they were immersed. If they succeed, they can enter the water. If they fail, they will refuse. The character gains +4 bonus on the will save if not going into the water would be dangerous or suicidal for them.
Hydrophobic characters are not usually afraid of shallow water, like puddles or baths, nor are they usually afraid of glasses of water.
Spells involving large quantities of water may also cause an Hydrophobic character to panic for a round. Make the same will save if an Hydrophobic character is within sight of a spell, power, or technique that they can see that produces at least as much water as their own body in volume. Failing the throw will cause the character to become shaken for as many rounds as the level of the viewed spell. A shaken character who fails the save becomes frightened and a frightened character becomes panicked.
Also, water elementals can bring a level of terror to an Hydrophobic character as well. It's pretty disturbing to have moving, sentient water approaching an Hydrophobic character and thus the character must make the will save at a DC increased by 1/2 the HD of the water elemental seen or become shaken until five rounds after seeing the elemental. A shaken character who fails the save becomes frightened and a frightened character becomes panicked.
Rain and other effects that can soak an Hydrophobic character give that character the feeling of being hopelessly immersed in water and thus cause the character to be shaken only while it's raining. Continuous rain will not increase the level of fear a character has beyond shaken but if another of the above happenings occur they are already shaken and thus proceed up in level of fear until going back down to shaken while it's raining.

You hate your own race.
Prerequisite: Non-Good
Effect: You have a severe hatred for your own people. When you interact with members of your own race, all interactions begin at hostile, as anyone close enough to see your face can sense your seething hatred. You also take a -4 penalty on all Charisma-based skills dealing with social interaction except Intimidate.

You are fast, but less sturdy than average members of your race.
Your base land speed increases by 10 feet (if you don't have a land speed, apply the benefit to whichever of your speeds is highest).
Subtract 1 from your hit points gained at each level, including 1st (a result of 0 is possible).

Your eyes are particularly well suited to using darkvision, but they are less well adapted to what others consider normal light.
Add 10 feet to the range of your darkvision.
You take a -1 penalty on Spot checks when in areas of bright light.

Appraise - Ranks (4) + (int ) + misc ()= 8
Balance - Ranks (2) +  (dex)  misc +()= 8
Bluff - Ranks (2) + (cha ) + misc ()= 6
Climb - Ranks (3) + (str ) + misc (2)= 7
Diplomacy - Ranks (3) + (cha) + misc ()= 8
Disable Device - Ranks (5) + (int) + misc ()= 9
Disguise - Ranks (5) + (cha) + misc ()= 9
Escape Artist - Ranks (2) + (dex) + misc ()= 8
Forgery - Ranks (2) + (int) + misc ()= 6
Hide - Ranks (6) + (dex) + misc (4)= 16
Jump - Ranks (1) + (str) + misc (2)= 5
Listen - Ranks (1) + (wis) + misc (2)= 7
Move Silently - Ranks (6) + (dex) + misc (2)= 14
Open Lock - Ranks (3) + (dex) + misc ()= 9
Search - Ranks (6) + (int) + misc ()= 10
Sense Motive - Ranks (3) + (wis) + misc ()= 7
Sleight of Hand - Ranks (3) + (dex) + misc ()= 9
Spot - Ranks (2) + (wis) + misc ()= 7
Swim - Ranks (1) + (str) + misc ()= 3
Tumble - Ranks (6) + (dex) + misc ()= 12
Use Rope - Ranks (2) + (dex) + misc ()= 8

+2 corrosive dagger/small-sized shortsword
Ring of protection +1
Masterwork leather armor
6d10 copper
6d10 silver
5d10 gold
5d10 platinum
50 feet of rope

Fluff and tactics:

Rory has had a rough time lately. Originally part of a ragtag adventuring band, it was his ill fortune to fall into an enchanted pool of stagnant water, near a certain Temple of a certain kind of Evil (you've probably heard of it).
He emerged from the water a changed halfling, now a ravenous ghoul. He and his former friends did battle, and in the fight he lost a hand. Deciding that he'd rather fight another day, the newly created monster fled into the night.

Since then, he's managed to steal his way in to the camps of adventurers and acquire quite a lot of nice things, from gear to money which he used to discretely purchase more gear from unobservant or unscrupulous shopkeepers.  Finding a certain pleasure in his new existence, he took to the profession of grave robbing in the interest of lining his pockets with the treasures of the departed, as well as filling his belly with their rotten flesh.

He is willing to slay anyone for even the smallest trinket he comes to covet, though he's cunning enough to lay traps and ambushes for more powerful foes, and usually has enough self-control to avoid biting off more than he can chew.

So to speak.

If he's ever inclined to try and tackle a full group of adventurers, he'd probably stalk them for awhile and observe them from hiding. Ideally, he'll strike while they're abed while out somewhere in the wilderness, waiting for the most frail-looking party member to stand watch before creeping up on the sentry and making use of his ghoulish paralysis.
Once that chore is complete, he'll tiptoe from tent to tent and silently dispatch all the others.

Failing that, he will try to use terrain to his advantage, making good use of his heightened darkvision, as well as his small size. He may engineer rock slides or falling trees. During the day he'll do his best to simply bury himself in the ground and wait for evening, and is likely to violently attack any single individual who discovers him, or flee from a group. His favorite bed is one he makes several feet beneath a coffin he's recently raided, as that's the last place somebody would look for the culprit. He absolutely loathes water, and will break off the pursuit of any prey if they escape into a large body of it. (Unless he's gone mad from flesh depravation, in which case even his new phobia won't stay his hand).

The sight of other halflings often leaves him overcome with uncomfortable feelings of loss and sorry, thereby driving him to a fury. He will attack them first if possible.


When a creature is paralyzed, it is helpless, and is treated as having both Strength and Dex values of 0. (-5 modifier, so factor that into the AC)
They are flat-footed, and so sneak attack damage would apply. Furthermore, you can perform a coup de grace against a helpless target. A coup de grace attack is a full round action, and an automatic critical. The target must then make a Fortitude save of DC 10+1/2 damage dealt or die instantly.

For example, if Rory attacked a helpless character with a coup de grace while using his sword hand, it would deal 2d4+8+1d6 acid +2d6 sneak attack. DC 10+ 1/2 possible damage (21) equals DC 31 Fort save or death.

A coup de grace provokes attacks of opportunity, and cannot be performed on creatures immune to critical hits.


Spring has come after a particularly snowy winter, and it has brought copious amounts of rain along with it. A small town lies atop a wooded hill at the bottom of a large and fertile valley and the weather and geography combine with the nearby river to result in flooding all around the village. To leave town, people need to fjord their way for a few miles before climbing from the morass, though as it's only about waist height it is little more than a nuisance to most of the residents.

Unfortunately for them, however, the rain has trapped an unwelcome visitor.

Rory had been passing through town on his travels, helping himself to the graveyard on his way through when the weather hit. He did all he could to hide from the rain, and after a few days of waiting for it to let up, he was horrified to see that he was virtually trapped. The soft soil of the cemetery did little to keep the water out, and before long he couldn't properly dig into the graves any longer without finding himself at risk of submersion.

He hid away amongst the trees for as long as he was able, but the rising water left him nervous, and being nervous always made him hungry. He killed the hermit grounds keeper (who was just feeling cheerful about the recent end of the grave robbings), who he left intact enough to rise as a ghoul (as in MM) a few days later. In the meanwhile, Rory has kidnapped a child or two, knowing that the lesser undead will take the blame when it is eventually caught, and not caring a button for the chance that the town may be in serious risk of infection.

It is to this desperate place that the adventurers come, either to escape the weather for a few days, or perhaps in response to a summons to help solve the matter of the missing persons. Rory will, of course, do his best never to tip his hand about his hydrophobia, and if he finds out that the PCs are in town about his activities, he may try to break into their inn rooms and do them in.

If it starts to look like he'll have to fight in the long term, he'll try to lure the PCs to a fake hideaway, then go off to try and create more lesser ghouls. The longer he's unable to feed, the more desperate he becomes. If the PCs are bright enough to keep everyone in town on lock down and provide regular patrols with the local constabulary, Rory may make a fatal mistake. A ranger or druid will have the chance to shine while tracking him through the woods.

This is all obviously very bare bones stuff, but it's meant to set up the premise and allow the DM to customize the scenario to their campaign's world. This could be a great first or second level adventure if arranged properly, with lesser ghouls and intrigue eventually leading up to a final encounter with Rory. Maybe this is the PC's hometown, perhaps one of their relatives has gone missing. Milk the atmosphere of a constant dreary downpour, as well as mysterious disappearances in the middle of the night. Remember to award extra XP if Rory manages to prepare an ambush, or has planned an attack on the PCs individually, as this has the potential to drastically raise the CR of the encounter.

Personae Malevolent 2; Looksee (a belated April Fool's entry)

Name: Looksee {/b/holder}
Race: Beholder
Classes: Aberration 11
Alignment: CN
Appearance: Looksee is an unusually oblong example of beholderkind. A strange black stubble grows across his underside, his mouth is usually caked with a strong smelling orange grime.

STR 10
DEX 16
CON 16
INT 14
WIS 11
CHA 16

Speed 5 ft/Fly 20 ft (good maneuverability)
Initiative 6
Grapple 12
Space/Reach 10 ft/5 ft
AC 27 [Dex 3,  Natural 15, Size -1]
Touch 11, Flat Footed  24

HP 88

Fort 9
Ref 6
Will 9

Eye rays +10 ranged touch, Bite melee, +2, 2d4

Class/Racial Abilities
All-around vision (+4 on Spot and Search. Cannot be flanked.)
Antimagic cone (Central eye continually produces a 150 foot cone of antimagic. Functions exactly as an anti-magic field (caster level 13th). All magical and supernatural powers and effects within the cone are suppressed - including Rupert's
Darkvison 60 feet

Eye rays (Su): Each of Looksee's smaller eyes can produce a ray once per round as a free action. During a single round, he can focus only three of these rays in any single 90 degree arc (up, forward, backward, left, right, or down). The remaining eyes must aim at targets in other arcs, if at all. He can tilt and rotate his body each round to change which rays may be brought to bear in any given arc.
10 eye rays

>Confusion {omgwtf}
Duration: 11 rounds. Will DC 18 negates
This spell causes the targets to become confused, making them unable to independently determine what they will do.

Roll on the following table at the beginning of each subject’s turn each round to see what the subject does in that round.
d%     Behavior
01–10     Attack caster with melee or ranged weapons (or close with caster if attack is not possible).
11–20     Act normally.
21–50     Do nothing but babble incoherently.
51–70     Flee away from caster at top possible speed.
71–100  Attack nearest creature (for this purpose, a familiar counts as part of the subject’s self).

A confused character who can’t carry out the indicated action does nothing but babble incoherently. Attackers are not at any special advantage when attacking a confused character. Any confused character who is attacked automatically attacks its attackers on its next turn, as long as it is still confused when its turn comes. Note that a confused character will not make attacks of opportunity against any creature that it is not already devoted to attacking (either because of its most recent action or because it has just been attacked).

>Suggestion  {Put shoe on head!}
Will DC 18 negates
You influence the actions of the target creature by suggesting a course of activity (limited to a sentence or two). The suggestion must be worded in such a manner as to make the activity sound reasonable. Asking the creature to do some obviously harmful act automatically negates the effect of the spell.

The suggested course of activity can continue for the entire duration. If the suggested activity can be completed in a shorter time, the spell ends when the subject finishes what it was asked to do. You can instead specify conditions that will trigger a special activity during the duration. If the condition is not met before the spell duration expires, the activity is not performed.

A very reasonable suggestion causes the save to be made with a penalty (such as –1 or –2).

>Irresistible Dance {When it's time to party we will party hard.}
Duration 1d4+1 rounds, Fort DC 18 negates
The subject feels an undeniable urge to dance and begins doing so, complete with foot shuffling and tapping. The spell effect makes it impossible for the subject to do anything other than caper and prance in place. The effect imposes a -4 penalty to Armor Class and a -10 penalty on Reflex saves, and it negates any AC bonus granted by a shield the target holds. The dancing subject provokes attacks of opportunity each round on its turn.

>Tasha's Hideous Laughter {Epic lulz}
Duration: 11 rounds. Will DC 18 negates
This spell afflicts the subject with uncontrollable laughter. It collapses into gales of manic laughter, falling prone. The subject can take no actions while laughing, but is not considered helpless. After the spell ends, it can act normally.

A creature with an Intelligence score of 2 or lower is not affected. A creature whose type is different from the caster’s receives a +4 bonus on its saving throw, because humor doesn’t “translate” well.

>Crushing Despair {Forever alone}
Duration: 11 min. Will DC 18 negates
An sense of despair causes great sadness in the subject. The affected creature takes a –2 penalty on attack rolls, saving throws, ability checks, skill checks, and weapon damage rolls.

Crushing Despair counters and dispels Good Hope.

>Prismatic Ray {lolrandom}
Saves are DC 18
A brilliant multihued beam streaks toward the target.
1  Red      20 points fire damage (Reflex half)
2  Orange     40 points acid damage (Reflex half)
3  Yellow     80 points electricity damage (Reflex half)
4  Green     Poison (Kills; Fortitude partial, take 1d6 points of Con damage instead)
5  Blue     Turned to stone (Fortitude negates)
6  Indigo     Insane, as insanity spell (Will negates)

>Transfix {wat do?}
Duration: 11 hours. Will DC 18 negates
Any small or smaller humanoid becomes paralyzed. When shooting the ray, Retinal Reject must specify a condition that will end it ("Don't move until I say so!"), even if that condition can never feasibly be met ("Stay put until the sun sets in the east!"). Subjects become immediatly aware of the condition, though they cannot communicate it due to their paralyzed state (although someone could use a spell such as Detect Thoughts to ascertain the condition). For each hour they are transfixed, they are allowed a new will saving throw to break free of the spell's effect.

A paralyzed character is frozen in place and unable to move or act. A paralyzed character has effective Dexterity and Strength scores of 0 and is helpless, but can take purely mental actions. A winged creature flying in the air at the time that it becomes paralyzed cannot flap its wings and falls. A paralyzed swimmer can’t swim and may drown. A creature can move through a space occupied by a paralyzed creature—ally or not. Each square occupied by a paralyzed creature, however, counts as 2 squares.

>Fear {Look out for Candleja-}
Duration: 11 rounds. Will DC 18 to reduce effect.
A deep sense of terror causes a living target to become panicked unless it succeeds on a Will save. If cornered, a panicked creature begins cowering. If the Will save succeeds, the creature is shaken for 1 round.

A panicked creature must drop anything it holds and flee at top speed from the source of its fear, as well as any other dangers it encounters, along a random path. It can’t take any other actions. In addition, the creature takes a –2 penalty on all saving throws, skill checks, and ability checks. If cornered, a panicked creature cowers and does not attack, typically using the total defense action in combat. A panicked creature can use special abilities, including spells, to flee; indeed, the creature must use such means if they are the only way to escape.

A shaken character takes a –2 penalty on attack rolls, saving throws, skill checks, and ability checks.

>Berserk Frenzy {u mad?}
Duration: 3 rounds+ the target's Constitution modifier.Will DC 18 negates
The target enters a berserking frenzy during combat, which also forces activation of her Rage ability, if applicable. While berserking in this frenzied manner, she must attack the nearest living thing, be it friend, foe, or otherwise. She gains a +6 bonus to Strength and, if she makes a full attack action, gains a single extra attack each round at her highest bonus. (This latter effect is not cumulative with haste or other effects that grant additional attacks.) However, she also takes a –4 penalty to Armor Class and takes 2 points of nonlethal damage per round.
To end the frenzy before its duration expires, the target may attempt a DC 20 Will save once per round as a free action. Success ends the frenzy immediately; failure means it continues.

When a berserk frenzy ends, the target is fatigued (–2 penalty to Strength and Dexterity, unable to charge or run) for the duration of the encounter.

If the same target is struck by this ray a second time, they enter the berserk frenzy yet again, and at it's conclusion they are instead exhausted (move at half speed and cannot run or charge, take a –6 penalty to Strength and Dexterity).

A third application results in the target falling unconscious after their rampage. (The target is unable to defend him or herself, is considered helpless and typically falls prone) until a party member expends a full round action to revive them, in which case they awake still exhausted.

>Reverse Gravity {GTFO}
Duration: 11 rounds. Will DC 18 negates.
This beam reverses gravity, causing the target to fall upward and reach the top of the area in 1 round. If some solid object (such as a ceiling) is encountered in this fall, falling objects and creatures strike it in the same manner as they would during a normal downward fall. If an object or creature reaches the top of the area without striking anything, it remains there, oscillating slightly, until the spell ends. At the end of the spell duration, affected objects and creatures fall downward.

Provided it has something to hold onto, a creature caught in the area can attempt a Reflex save to secure itself when the spell strikes. Creatures who can fly or levitate can keep themselves from falling
Alertness [+2 bonus on all Listen checks and Spot checks. ]
Flyby Attack [When flying, the creature can take a move action (including a dive) and another standard action at any point during the move. The creature cannot take a second move action during a round when it makes a flyby attack.]
Great Fortitude [+2 bonus on all Fortitude saving throws.]
Improved Initiative [+4 on initiative rolls]
Iron Will [+2 bonus on all Will saving throws.]


Bluff - 13
Craft: Cooking - 6
[the planes]- 15
Listen - 15
Search - 15
Spot - 16

Fluff and tactics:
Looksee was always a little bit peculiar. Since the day he emerged from beneath his mother's tongue, he'd had to keep his eyes peeled for the stronger, smarter, more shapely beholders. They'd always do mean things to him, like call him misshapen, or stupid, or make fun of his unusual eye rays, and then fire rays of disintegration at him to prove why they were better. It didn't take long for Looksee to decide that other beholders were pretty much jerks, and he'd had quite enough of their guff. He took the first opportunity to flee the hive.

He was immediately kidnapped.

The crew of the Spelljamming Shrikeship Glorian was all too happy to have shanghaied a beholder, even if it's arrival brought more hysterical screaming and begging for mercy than they'd ever imagined. Once Looksee finally calmed down, they found out that they didn't have quite the weapon of ultimate destruction they thought. However, as a sub-par beholder is still quite a lot better than no beholder at all, they decided to let him stay aboard, especially when he told them what an incredible chef he was.

Looksee was a very good liar.

Despite his eventual improvement in the area of culinary expertise (he even developed a new kind of crunchy, orange [the color, not the fruit] flavored ration made from the insides of carrion crawlers!), the sad day came when Captain Kernal had to decide between keeping Looksee aboard or turning his quarters into a pottery studio.

It was a very nice studio.

Looksee is back on the prime material once again, and now spends most of his time eating the rations he invented and blaming the multiverse for his problems. He tried to cut it as a wizard for awhile, but the academy was way too conformist for him. His new hobby is picking on villagers and even some of the weaker monsters when he can get away with it. He'd probably move back in with mom if he could.

His tactics always lead with him targeting the biggest and strongest looking foes with this Transfix ray, then setting the condition to something that he thinks would make them uncomfortable. ("Don't move until the elf kisses the dwarf like he MEANS it!"), and then just doing all he can to keep the party unbalanced. If reduced to less than half hit points and unable to retreat, there is at least a 50% chance per round that Looksee will break down into pitiful whimpering sobs, begging for mercy and swearing up and down that he'll never (do whatever it was that brought on the conflict) again.

Though not exactly evil per se, Looksee hasn't had the opportunity to master the finer points of morality. With the right stimuli, he could either join the party and learn to be goodly or go on bullying weaker creatures as he was bullied until he falls to evil.

If your players have fought beholders before and think they've seen it all, throw Looksee at them. Maybe Looksee isn't even an individual; maybe there are dozens or hundreds of Looksees, a new sub-species of beholderkind!

By all means, feel welcome (even encouraged) to drop all of the lame meme tie-ins from the description of the rays. However, if your group isn't very immersive, or you're just having a silly night, try having him phonetically scream out the mememisms as they're activated. Make sure to tailor the terms of his Transfix demands to your own group, and have fun with it.