You ever stumble across somebody at a con that you just can't quite figure?
At Gen Con we played PFS with a very nice group. This one fellah in particular was running a samurai, and he and I (with my cavalier) got along really well. In game he was helpful and willing to take more than his share of the risks, and out of game he was gregarious and enthusiastic. When I lost one of my con-exclusive Pathfinder buttons, he helped me look and seemed really concerned.
But then we got into a situation (I don't want to ruin the scenario) that we ended up fighting against some warrior women that were duped into serving the bad guy. He (while in character) started calling them "bitch!" (always with the emphasis on the "bi" part; the word had its own little rhythm) every time he'd address them when trying to persuade them that they were in service to evil.
*Bad guy turns into a big drooling monster. Duped shieldmaidens stare in horror.*
"Now do you believe us, BITCH?!"
Well yeah dude, I sort of think she might.
Most of the time I can just distance myself from a generally unpleasant gamer, but this guy was extremely chill apart from this one somewhat tourettsesque foible.
Nobody really seemed uncomfortable (I'll admit I immediately looked at Amanda to see if I'd need to don my shiny white armor), so I just let it slide. But it certainly colored my impression.
It's important to always be aware of the fact that you can't know what strangers are used to or comfortable with, even if you share interests. Religion, potty-talk, and politics (in descending order of cleanliness) aren't appropriate for mixed company; keep this in mind, and everyone will feel welcome and comfortable!
Fantasy and role-play are a catalyst for some, a means to act out through a character. If his belligerence was consistent, i.e. "my character is a jerk to everyone" or "I provoke compelled party members to react with anger to draw them away from danger", then I wouldn't think twice about it; it's a tactic. But, using a character as a stand-in to mete out abuse to other players is unacceptable.
ReplyDeleteThe GM sets the tone, and the players count on him or her to keep the campaign fun and fair. Players who use the setting to justify or excuse their abuse of others, be they female players or not, should be dealt with immediately, with clear boundaries of acceptable behavior.
It's sad to see that this problem is still an issue, and that it was allowed to go on unaddressed. :(